Saturday, September 21, 2013

I Miss The Way You Used To Be

I'm trying to remember all the good things that i've ever gone through with you when i was a little girl. We used to walk hand in hand. You hold my hand so tight because you're afraid that i might be lost.

You used to give me the best things just to make me feel so special and you didn't mind it as long as i could be happy. You used to help me everytime i found a problem. And you always had a way out to solve it.

All those things made me think that you are my pride and you are the true hero of my life. I've ever promised to myself i'd make you proud of who i am.

But what am i doing right now? I don't even say thank you for that. I never thought that i'd grow up and live like this. It seems like i want to forget all the good things that you've done for me just because you've made a big mistake.

Sometimes i wonder is it fair enough for you? I treat you just like an enemy. I see you just like a sinner. I feel like i was blinded by the hate inside my heart.

But i have to be honest to myself. One side of me says that i have to be grateful of having you in my life. And the other side says that you don't deserve to be proud of, because you've let me down.

There's so many words that i could never verbalize. Just spinning around on my mind and frozen on my tongue.

If only you could see that now i'm so missing you. I wish i could turn back time. I would go back to the past and fix everything. I'll never let anybody else destroy our lives. I'll never let you make that big mistake. So i'll never let myself hate you. And we can be just like we used to be.

Loving each other...
Being proud of each other...
And being happy together ever after...
As a father and her daughter.
Ketika aku terbangun dari lelapku
Kau tahu?
Aku membayangkan senyum khasmu

Ketika aku terjaga dari indahnya bunga tidurku
Kau tahu?
Aku mengingat senda guraumu
dan tanpa sadar
Aku pun mengembangkan lengkungan di bibirku

Ketika gelisah hati menghampiri
Kau tahu?
Aku mengkhawatirkanmu
dan selalu ingin berpikir positif
bahwa kau baik-baik saja

Ketika kerinduan menjalar liar di sudut hati ini
Kau tahu?
Aku ingin sekali menghajarmu
Aku ingin kau tahu betapa sakitnya menahan rindu
yang semakin liar ini

Ketika kau bertingkah seakan kau marah padaku
Kau tahu?
Bahwa aku kecewa pada diriku sendiri
Mengapa aku tak pandai
mendamaikan amarahmu

Ketika kau mengucapkan kata sayang itu berulang kali
Kau tahu?
Bahwa aku ingin sekali membalasnya
Namun aku lebih memilih membalas
dengan cara yang lebih manis, yaitu

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